Entry tags:
week 5, friday
[So. Everything sure keeps happening, doesn't it.
Akane is waiting patiently in whatever room she's being kept in idek who's staying where right now??? She's just sitting on a bed there, hands neatly folded in her lap.]
Akane is waiting patiently in whatever room she's being kept in idek who's staying where right now??? She's just sitting on a bed there, hands neatly folded in her lap.]
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[either way, assuming he gets let in, he enters the room and kind of. . . slumps against the door. he doesn't say anything; she can go first]
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[Her tone's mild, her expression completely neutral.]
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Better elaborate on that. There are a ton of reasons people are disappointed in my right now.
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Please understand that I don't blame you. If the circumstances were different, I would have agreed completely with the decision you made. But that's just the thing...
[The slightest of smiles makes it way to her lips.]
I thought you were a better person than me.
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[this is what she is doing, is it? he blinks rapidly at her a few times, before a calm smile curls up the corners of his mouth. can't guilt trip him if he's done that enough himself already, Akane]
Funnily enough, Akane. . . unlike one of us in this room, I didn't kill anyone this week.
[he cants his head to the side curiously]
And if I had, then I at least would have known my reasons for doing so. I imagine there are a lot of other people who do it for more selfish reasons. Fame, fortune. . . [a beat]
Night terrors?
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[She leans back, turning her gaze from him to the ceiling.]
Of course, what I did was worse. Murdering someone for the sake of nothing but hallucinations isn't just terrible, it's stupid.
[...]
If I had killed someone in a more reasonable state of mind, I would have done it much more efficiently, and for far better reasons.
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Kurusu-- Akira-- and I are on similar wavelengths. [another deep exhale] . . . he's a good guy.
. . . isn't it funny, Akane? You killed Quer and fessed up to it immediately, saying it was because of the night terrors, and no one batted an eye.
But the moment we say our goal is to save those already dead, to prevent anyone from having to deal with the pain of permanent loss, everyone jumps down our throats. [he laughs, and shakes his head] I don't get people sometimes.
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[There's a bit of genuine surprise in her voice now.]
Surely it's obvious why everyone's angry? You took away their choice. Many of them would have agreed to your plan, but you didn't give them the option. You treated them like children who don't know their own good.
How did you think they were going to take it?
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Choice, choice, choice. Everyone goes on and on about choice! Guess what?
It's hard to give people a choice when you don't trust them. And when those you do trust willingly offer you their support and help, only to stab you in the back later. Because-- surprise! We actually were gonna tell people, before Andersen opened his big, fat mouth.
[and at that, he levels his gaze on her again]
Andersen has already told me that if the dead are to be condemned to stay in this realm forever because of his actions, then so be it. Dirk has already told me that other people here have different values-- presumably, different values about whether harming another person in order to save forty-two souls is worth it-- and that I need to understand that in order to get why people are mad.
I do understand it, Akane.
[tilts his chin up defiantly]
Even if there are those who don't agree with us, I'm going to keep fighting. For everyone. So the loved ones of the people who have already passed don't have to know the pain of permanent loss again.
If I have to be a villain in order to make sure everyone here gets a happy ending, then so be it. I'll be that villain.
The other Hunters and I know what we're fighting for. Do the rest of you?
[how the fuck can he be shounen about murder]
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Like I said, Kaito, I completely understand what you're doing. I was simply talking about how the others feel about it.
Would you like to know what I'm fighting for?
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. . . it doesn't change my conviction.
[his hand slips into his pocket]
Tell me, Akane.
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On January 1st, 2029, a terrorist organisation called Free the Soul released a virus into the world. Radical-6, a fast-spreading disease with a near one hundred percent mortality rate. It attacks the mental functions of those infected, driving them to kill themselves.
Within months, Radical-6 had become a global pandemic. Millions were dying by the day, and there seemed to be nothing that could be done to stop the spread of the virus. On April 13th, 2029, eighteen antimatter reactors across the world were detonated simultaneously. As most of the diseased population was killed, its spread finally came to a halt, but at a terrible cost.
After the ravages of Radical-6, the chaos it caused, and the antimatter detonations, six billion people in total had died, and the Earth was sent into a nuclear winter that will result in most of the remaining life on the planet dying as well.
That is the world I come from.
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Do you fight to save that world?
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Even kill Quer?
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I already told you, Kaito. If I had killed someone in a clearer state of mind, it would have been very different from what occurred last night. It wouldn't have been Quer, either.
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[. . . he exhales. lifts a hand to rub at his face. he lets some of the tension fade away, allows some of his growing exhaustion to show]
You know what I learned while I've been here, Akane?
. . . one can never really tell what they're going to do in a certain situation until it smacks them in the face, and doesn't give them an escape.
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[For the first time this conversation, genuine emotion pushes past her neutral tone.]
We all think we know our own limits, but we never do.
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. . . I'm sorry if you thought I was a better person than I am.
[and, for the first time, he ducks his head before she can see the flash of guilt that crosses his expression. he's a third option kind of guy, so this. . . this is just]
[the answers he found in this place were not easy on him]
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[She stands up and walks over to him. If he'll allow it, he's getting hugged.]
This burden should have never been yours.
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But it is now.
And I'd be a coward if I ran away from it.
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It's a short hug, and she returns to the bed after pulling away, but there's still warmth in it.]
I know. I just wish I could help you, but... we're on opposing sides in this matter.
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Are we?
'Cause I'm not getting that impression.
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[he answers immediately]
Don't you see? The last three survivors don't necessarily need to be us.
As long as at least one of the three is willing to take the deal to raise the dead. . . our goal will be realized. Even if we're executed or lynched before seeing it come to fruition.
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Then maybe you're right. We just might be on the same side after all.
[Her mouth curls into a small smile.]
You know why I was so upset with you earlier? I didn't think you were responsible enough for this path that you've chosen. It seems I was wrong.
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. . .
Y'know, that seems to be a theme? Andersen kinda hinted at the same thing.
What about me makes me seem so irresponsible and cowardly?
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